Momentary, spontaneous and rapid

Sometimes, like other people who write as well, I get the urge to instantly put my words and thoughts down on paper without thinking which words and phrases would sound better; it’s an impulse that forces me to merely write directly from my heart. And mind. Or, as the phrase goes, shoot straight from the hip.

So here is something that I wrote in one of those few minutes where I hadn’t written anything for a very long time and I really needed to break that stretch. (Before going on to read this, please do not judge me after you do so; what I have put down in words is simply a product of my fantasies and vibrant imagination.)

Have you ever had a dream about the very last day of the Earth’s existence? (Many may refer to it as the Day of Judgment.) Yes, I have. It’s not scary: it’s just weird. You wake up feeling like a prophet, thinking you had a profound insight into the future.
“Wow, am I some sort of God-sent human who is seeing these futuristic images? Is God trying to send me a message? Am I some sort of ‘chosen one’?” I knew that that was crap. It couldn’t be true. But I previewed these thoughts through my head to see what it feels like even to pretend to be some magnificent, holy messenger. Or something of the sort.
And that’s just a glimpse of what my everyday life is like. Imaginative, idealistic, dreamy and delusional. Fortunately, I don’t let it grow to an extent where I start believing everything in my head and push myself to the verge of getting admitted into a psychiatric ward (although the idea doesn’t sound that boring, I must say… there you go again: me drifting off into my imagination).
I’m not sure what my purpose of telling all this is. I think I’ve always had this desire to tell people about myself. Some strange urge it is, but yes, I’ve always had a pleasure in telling people about my experiences, feelings and thoughts; in a way (one that is not boastful or conceited at all, I assure you), I have frequently thought of myself as a wise and insightful person, a little above those of his own age-group and whose words shall one day be quoted all over the world; and in thinking so, my desire to share what goes on in my mind becomes stronger, thinking I may inspire at least one person one day in achieving something they have wanted to do so in life, or help them through an issue they have been facing for a while.

A penny for your thoughts?


Not your average Joe

Usually, on a first meeting, people tend to be sugar-coated to create the best possible impression. Being at their best behaviour. Radiating pleasantness. Smiling. Being polite.
And then there’s me. I’m a very moody person. There are days when I’m at the height of hyperness . Then there are days when I’m just bitter and spit venom. Then there are days when I’m just melancholy.
Wait, why don’t we denote that by colours?
There days when I’m fluorescents of green, orange, blue and yellow. Then there are days when I’m brown, fungus-green and scary red. Then there are days when I’m grey. I’m not sure what irritability is signified by, but lets go with maroon.
These days, browns and dull greens dominate my world. I won’t say I hold a pessimistic perspective of the world; rather, a realistic one. Initially, no matter what happened, it was extremely difficult to break away from my happy-go-lucky view of the world; but then, when I realized that people are plain weird and that they will never be as genuine with you as you are with them, I started distancing myself from them. Rather than being the extremely frank, easy-going personality, I retreated and built a wall around myself. I don’t let anyone in so easily; I don’t want to roam around armorless, with people free to shoot their arrows when they please: I want to secure myself.
So that is me these days. Boring. Untalkative. Away from everyone. Annoyed.
Hi. I am Momin.